Merry Christmas and a Snowy New Year

First and foremost, here are a few pictures from Christmas. Mostly because I just came across them and realized I had never posted them. We had a great Christmas! It was so fun with Knox this year because he really kind of gets the whole Christmas thing now. He, of course, loved opening presents. But what was the very best was listening to him talk about baby Jesus. He would tell us all about how much he loved him and how he lives in his heart. Talk about melt my heart moments!

Knox got a "choo choo train table," a "bicycle" (tricycle) and "mine own John Deere tractor" for Christmas and he is equally obsessed with all three! Clayton surprised me with a new Kindle because mine broke a few months ago. He definitely knows the way to my heart!

It was a great Christmas and we are looking forward to Christmas with two sweet boys this year.

 

This is possibly my favorite family photo ever. It sums us up perfectly.

Right after Christmas we ventured to Taos, NM with Clayton's family for a little getaway. I won't lie, I was a little concerned about traveling 15 hours in the car at almost six months pregnant. But I survived!

Clayton has been dying to go on a ski trip as long as we've been together and we've just never made it happen. He and his brothers spent a few days skiing and for the most part we all just relaxed, which was a much welcomed break from reality.

Knox had such a great time in the snow (or the "no" as he calls it) and loves to tell everyone about how he went "kiing" like Daddy. (He went tubing, but we just go with it.)

I really enjoyed visiting the actual town of Taos. It is such a quaint little place and the people are all so nice. It may just be because I'm pregnant, but I swear to you the food was exceptionally delicious! I loved all the little art galleries with work from local artists. I got an original print by Allegra Sleep that I am totally obsessed with!

Here are a few pictures from our vacation. Enjoy!

 

Clayton got all dressed up for the new year.

We had such a great time and it was so nice to get away for a week. Reality definitely hit hard when we got back!

Dreaming of a Remodel.

Clayton and I have talked a lot lately about moving (houses, not towns). We've talked about a million different options...building, fixer upper, move-in ready, etc etc etc. We have varying opinions on what is the best option. Clayton dreams of a move-in ready house that needs, at most, a coat of paint here and there. I, on the other hand, spend hours upon days dreaming of a house that needs a complete overhaul. It's in my blood. I can't help it. We have yet to come to a conclusion, but here are a few things I'm currently pining over.

First and foremost, I DREAM of having a ginormous playroom. Knox's toys have completely taken over our living room AND his bedroom. I want it to have big giant sliding barn doors so that I can close it off when we have company over. These are a few of my favorites:

 

via Pinterest (original source unknown.)

 

via Pinterest (original source unknown.)

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I want cute bathrooms. Priorities, right? Seriously though, I could spend hours looking at bathrooms on Pinterest. I'm obsessed with pocket doors, and I love the thought of painting them a bright color. I want stripes in one bathroom. I don't know why, but I love the thought of big stripes in a bathroom! A couple of my favorite bathroom ideas:

 

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I want a homey, cozy living room that feels inviting and like you can actually sit on the furniture. I'm not really one for formal, well, anything.  I love color and comfy furniture and big fireplaces. Some of my favorites:

 

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I want a house that I can go into and tear down walls, take out counter tops, redo floors and paint EVERYTHING. I'm sure you're asking yourself why I sound like a crazy person and why we don't just build. I have this crazy need to make old things new again. (Mirror mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.) I love refurbishing furniture and I get such a thrill out of transforming something old into something new of my own. I have super eclectic taste and I enjoy the challenge of mixing old things with new. I'm sure to most of you I sound like a total nut job. Clayton would agree. 

One of my very favorite elements of design is paint. Most people have no idea how much a coat of paint can transform a room. As I'm sure most of you know, my sweet momma has her own line of vintage finish paint (find it here). I love it for painting furniture and I'm obsessed with her color palette (which I'm sure has nothing to do that most of the colors were hand picked by yours truly). I have always gravitated toward cooler wall colors, so these are my current color obsessions:

 

I guess that's all I've got for today! So now I'll go back to feeding my house remodel Pinterest addiction...

Knox Turns TWO!

My, oh my. Where has the time gone? Is my precious boy really TWO? I really can't believe it. It seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago that he changed our lives. He is hard headed, stubborn, strong willed and the lovingest boy I've ever met. Reality is starting to sink in that he won't be my "baby" anymore (even though secretly he will ALWAYS be my baby) and that he will be a big brother in just a few short months. EEK! But that's for another day. Today, I can't wait to share his second birthday party with you!

This boy is obsessed with cowboys, tractors, heavy machinery and all things man. One of his very first words was "excavator." (No, I'm not kidding.)We talked for a couple of months about his birthday party and every time I asked him what kind of party he wanted he said very matter of factly, "John Deere tractor party." Unfortunately for my child, he will probably never have your basic good ol' John Deere green birthday party. So we settled for a more vintagey theme with tractors/farm animals.

For his first birthday I went ALL out. I always swore I wouldn't. But, of course, I did. I just couldn't help myself. I promised myself (and Clayton's wallet) that I would reign it in a little bit a lot for his second birthday.  Clayton's parents have a barn on their property, so I thought that would be the perfect setting for his party. Pretty much everything was DIY, so I Clayton was pretty thrilled with how little $$ I ended up spending.

I always do his invitations myself, but this year they ended up going out via text and email because, well, let's face it, I just couldn't get my act together with Christmas and his birthday being four days apart.

We had his party all planned out for Saturday December 21st since his actual birthday fell on a Saturday this year. We had talked all about it and he was SO excited. And then the weather decided it didn't care so much about my plans and we were told to prepare for the worst. And it was pretty terrible. Outdoor birthday party+terrible horrible no good very bad weather....well yeah, that just doesn't work out so well. So, like the fly by the seat of your pants parents that we are, we rescheduled for Sunday. It was still chilly, but it worked out for the best. We had snacks, a bonfire, a hayride, quite a few tractor rides and a "watering hole" to keep the adults sane.

So there you have it, the easy peasy details of Knox's second birthday party. He loved every second of it and I loved that it didn't take me six months to plan! And here are a few more pictures of the day for your viewing pleasure!

Baby P Bumpdate.

Well, I guess it's probably time I start keeping track of this pregnancy so this baby doesn't feel left out. I kept up with my pregnancy with Knox almost weekly. This one, not so much! So here is my first attempt...here at 16 weeks. Oops?

It's so funny: I was not overly anxious when I was pregnant with Knox, but this one has been so much different. I really haven't worried too much about anything. As in, Clayton had to remind me around eight weeks to call and make a doctor's appointment. I know it's not my first rodeo, but it still makes me laugh. We've always joked that if you are less cautious with your second and so on, our second will be near neglected because we never worried about anything with Knox!

This pregnancy has been the complete and total opposite of Knox's. My first pregnancy was SO easy. Almost too easy. I was never sick, had no complications, nothing. Take a 180 degree turn, and that's where we are with this one. I was so so SO sick for the first few weeks. It was absolutely miserable and I now feel sorry for all of you with morning sickness that I silently judged because I really just thought you were being a wuss. Please accept my heartfelt, sincere apology. Seriously. This ain't no joke. My sickness is mostly gone at this point, but making myself eat is a different story. I know I'm not eating enough, but I do my best to strategically pick foods to eat that are going to benefit baby/me the most. You know, like potato chips and ice cream. To say it's been a rough ride so far is an understatement. I really do try not to complain, though. I have a healthy, growing baby and there isn't much more I could ask for.

How far along? 16 weeks today!
Maternity clothes? Ha. I wish. With all the weight I've lost from sickness, they are all still way too big! I actually had to go buy SMALLER pants recently. Craziness.
Sleep: I've had a hard time sleeping ever since I was pregnant with Knox. Even with my exhaustion, I still wake up a lot during the night! I'm still able to sleep on my stomach, so that helps. I imagine as this baby grows and I can't sleep like that anymore, sleep will go out the window!
Missing anything? I would give my right arm for a margarita!
Food Cravings: I will crave things randomly, but there isn't anything I've craved a lot of. I have loved some dill pickles. Oh, and fried chicken. What the heck? I don't even LIKE chicken!
Gender: Hopefully we will find out within the next month!

Movement? I have just started feeling the baby "flutters" this week! Love it!
Mood: I feel like I should just constantly apologize to everyone around me. I don't think I've really been moody, but I just feel useless and out of it all the time because I've felt so bad!
Looking forward to: Finding out what Baby P is so that he/she can have a name!

I know this picture is dark, but it was the best I could do for today! I'm sure if you notice the head poking in at the bottom of the picture you'll understand why!

I'm Not a Very Good Blogger.

So I said I was going to start blogging again. I guess that means once every few months! I like blogging, I guess I just forget. So now to catch you up on our life...

If you didn't already know, Knox is going to be a big brother in April! To say he is excited...well let's be honest, that would be a lie. When we talk about the baby, he talks about a puppy. He is convinced he's getting a puppy. He has come around a tiiiiiny bit, but I figure we've got a few more months to work on it. He will at least talk to the baby now. It is the sweetest thing. He gets right next to my stomach and YELLS "Hi baby! I'm Knox! You big brother! I love you!" We will see if he still feels the same way once the baby is actually here.

 

He is growing up so insanely fast. I can't believe that he will be two in December! He talks so much and is really starting to look like a little boy. I am so thankful to be able to stay home with him and really get to experience him growing up. I NEVER in a million years thought I would be a stay at home mom. I wanted to work. Now I can't imagine life any other way. I love the stage he is in right now and I'm trying to soak it up as much as I can. He is so funny and he just continues to crack me up with the off the wall things he says. The other day he told me "Auntie Jess funny. Uncle Russell peepee in the potty. Pop and Mac shopping buggy. GG BIG hug!" It was just totally out of the blue, but Uncle Russell, I'm sure glad you've learned to peepee in the potty.

All that being said, being his mom is just plain HARD some a lot of the time. I wouldn't trade my strong-willed, hard headed child for anything because it makes him who he is (which, let's face it, is me made over), but goodness gracious there are days I could just pull all of my hair out. He is SO particular. About E V E R Y T H I N G. I mean, we are talking everything. He freaks out if I come in the bathroom while he's in the bathtub because Daddy is supposed to give him a bath. Mommy, apparently, is supposed to be in the kitchen. If dinner is cooking and I come in the living room, he says "Mommy! Kitchen!" Clayton thinks it's absolutely hilarious and says that he just already knows where a woman's place is. You're hysterical, honey. His latest obsession is his cowboy boots. We got him a cowboy hat awhile back because he had been asking for one for probably a month. I figured if he remembered for that long that he wanted one, It was probably worth it. So now we've got the boots and the hat, and we wear them everywhere. Even as adorable as I try to dress him, I'd be lying if I said his cowboy obsession doesn't make me smile. 

My ten year high school reunion was a few weeks ago. Ten years. Seriously?! Absolutely nuts! We had a great time and it was so nice to spend time with people that I don't get to see often enough. 

Four weddings, two babies (with two more on the way), one cross country move, a new dog, six big girl jobs and ten years later. And that's JUST in this picture. It really is crazy how quickly time flies! We missed everyone that couldn't make it.

I guess that's probably enough of an update for today. I really am going to try to be better about blogging and not having mile long posts! I know, I say that every time. Here is an adorable picture of Knox to hold you over until next time! xo

Fears.

We all have them. We all have LOTS of them, whether we are willing to admit it or not. Mine range from worrying if the outfit I'm wearing shows the 10 pounds of baby weight I have leftover from Knox to whether or not I'm a good mom to if my husband knows JUST how much I love and appreciate him even though I'm not the best at expressing it.

While we're admitting things, I'll admit to you that One Tree Hill will forever be one of my favorite shows. Seriously. I laughed, I cried, and I was devastated with the last episode aired. It's okay to laugh at me. I could probably go back and watch each season all over again and enjoy it just as much the second time. Amidst the suspense drama of it all, there were always some really great nuggets of wisdom. Like this one from Whitey. Oh how wise he was.

 

I love this. Because in reality (yes, I know OTH is not reality)  we ARE all afraid. Why are we so ashamed of it? It is human nature to be afraid. It's in our DNA. But instead of hiding from our fears, why not face them head on? Conquer them, or at least give them all you've got. 

Yesterday our message in church was absolutely amazing. It was basically about getting back to Jesus. As Christians in America, we have somehow separated Christianity and truly living for Christ. One of my very biggest fears is that I will miss an opportunity to share Jesus with someone because I am afraid of how they will react or because I'm not sure I have the right words or because I can't quite remember what I learned in church. We talked in our Bible Study group about just being real. It doesn't matter that I don't have the right words. Who really wants to sit there and listen to me recite something that I've practiced a million times? I'm certainly not perfect. Far, far from it in fact. So why would I want people to think that's what I strive to be? I know I'm not perfect, and in Jesus, I don't have to be. He has redeemed me. Every bit of me: good, bad and ugly. 

In Jesus, I can face my fears head on knowing that His plan for my life will prevail no matter what. I may not always make the right choice, but I will always end up back on the path He has laid for me.

Sometimes.

Sometimes being a mom is just plain hard. Agreed? No one ever talks about their hard days. It takes me back to the whole "fakebook" fad a little while back. We are so quick to post how cute our kids are being or how beautiful the day is and how much we are enjoying it. I'm equally as guilty as the next person.

Here is my reality:

Last Thursday, I picked Knox up from MDO and he was happy as could be. He came home and took a nap, woke up, and we were going to go to Clayton's parents for dinner. I got him dressed and we were just about ready to go. He was in the bathroom and all of a sudden came running out scratching at his tongue. I thought he had put soap in his mouth or something, so I set him on the kitchen counter and started trying to look in his mouth. About ten seconds later he started projectile vomiting alllll over the counter. We are talking exorcist style. And it went on and on and on. He finally stopped and I was able to get him in the bathtub to clean him up. Clayton wasn't home because he was already at his parents doing some work for them. I called him freaking out because I didn't really know what to do, and honestly, I didn't know how I was going to clean up the ridiculous amount of vomit on my kitchen counter. Those that know me well know that I DON'T do vomit. I got him bathed and he seemed to be okay. Then he decided he wanted pancakes. Blueberry pancakes. So, I gave them to him. Within fifteen minutes they were all over the floor. And all over me. Back to the bathtub we went. I let him play in there while I washed the pancakes out from between my toes. Clayton came home about that time, so lucky him, he got to clean up the pancake mush on the floor. He threw up a couple more times and then asked to go to bed. That NEVER happens. I put him to bed just knowing that he would be up all night. Thankfully, he slept straight through the night. I thought maybe that meant the bug was behind us, but unfortunately that wasn't so.

The next morning his precious aunt decided that donut holes would be a good breakfast choice. So of course, we saw those again a little while later. After Friday morning though, everything seemed to be heading in the right direction. Thankfully, no more throwing up. Not so thankfully, the liquid filled diapers continued. I won't go into detail, but Clayton had to bathe Knox as soon as he woke up Sunday morning. I'll just leave that one to your imagination.

Fast forward to yesterday (Monday). My dad kept Knox yesterday morning for a couple of hours so I could get some things done. I got a text about an hour into it telling me that he had already changed two awful diapers and his shorts were in the washer. Great. I picked him up, we came home, and he pretty quickly went down for a nap. He woke up with another awful diaper. I changed him, and about five minutes later another one. Changed him again, and immediately, you guessed it ANOTHER one. I was DONE at that point. I thought my head was going to explode if I had to change one.more.diaper. Liquid filled diapers, at that. We rescheduled dinner at Clayton's parents for last night, so after all the diapers and a few fits in between, we finally headed out. Halfway there I heard (and smelled) another one. The smell was so awful that I KNEW it had to be everywhere. So we pulled into a parking lot where I proceeded to throw away the shorts he was wearing. We finally showed up for dinner with Knox and a diaper and me with quite a few new gray hairs.

So today, my house is a wreck, the sink is full of dirty dishes, I have two weeks worth of laundry to catch up on and I had to keep Knox home today. Sometimes, being a mom is just plain hard.

None of this was meant to complain. Even on the hardest days, I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything. But being a mom is usually not glamorous and my kid is pretty much never perfect even remotely well behaved. Does that mean I love him any less? Nope. If anything, most of the time I have to turn around so he doesn't see me laugh. Did I mention that the stomach bug probably came from his new found love for laying on the floor in the middle of public places? You know, super clean places like WalMart. Yeah, that's my life on a daily basis.

So yeah, being a mom to a rough and tumble, rambunctious, wild 21 month old little boy is rough. It's definitely not all rainbows and unicorns. But I love it. I mean, who could resist this?