Baby P Bumpdate.

Well, I guess it's probably time I start keeping track of this pregnancy so this baby doesn't feel left out. I kept up with my pregnancy with Knox almost weekly. This one, not so much! So here is my first attempt...here at 16 weeks. Oops?

It's so funny: I was not overly anxious when I was pregnant with Knox, but this one has been so much different. I really haven't worried too much about anything. As in, Clayton had to remind me around eight weeks to call and make a doctor's appointment. I know it's not my first rodeo, but it still makes me laugh. We've always joked that if you are less cautious with your second and so on, our second will be near neglected because we never worried about anything with Knox!

This pregnancy has been the complete and total opposite of Knox's. My first pregnancy was SO easy. Almost too easy. I was never sick, had no complications, nothing. Take a 180 degree turn, and that's where we are with this one. I was so so SO sick for the first few weeks. It was absolutely miserable and I now feel sorry for all of you with morning sickness that I silently judged because I really just thought you were being a wuss. Please accept my heartfelt, sincere apology. Seriously. This ain't no joke. My sickness is mostly gone at this point, but making myself eat is a different story. I know I'm not eating enough, but I do my best to strategically pick foods to eat that are going to benefit baby/me the most. You know, like potato chips and ice cream. To say it's been a rough ride so far is an understatement. I really do try not to complain, though. I have a healthy, growing baby and there isn't much more I could ask for.

How far along? 16 weeks today!
Maternity clothes? Ha. I wish. With all the weight I've lost from sickness, they are all still way too big! I actually had to go buy SMALLER pants recently. Craziness.
Sleep: I've had a hard time sleeping ever since I was pregnant with Knox. Even with my exhaustion, I still wake up a lot during the night! I'm still able to sleep on my stomach, so that helps. I imagine as this baby grows and I can't sleep like that anymore, sleep will go out the window!
Missing anything? I would give my right arm for a margarita!
Food Cravings: I will crave things randomly, but there isn't anything I've craved a lot of. I have loved some dill pickles. Oh, and fried chicken. What the heck? I don't even LIKE chicken!
Gender: Hopefully we will find out within the next month!

Movement? I have just started feeling the baby "flutters" this week! Love it!
Mood: I feel like I should just constantly apologize to everyone around me. I don't think I've really been moody, but I just feel useless and out of it all the time because I've felt so bad!
Looking forward to: Finding out what Baby P is so that he/she can have a name!

I know this picture is dark, but it was the best I could do for today! I'm sure if you notice the head poking in at the bottom of the picture you'll understand why!

I'm Not a Very Good Blogger.

So I said I was going to start blogging again. I guess that means once every few months! I like blogging, I guess I just forget. So now to catch you up on our life...

If you didn't already know, Knox is going to be a big brother in April! To say he is excited...well let's be honest, that would be a lie. When we talk about the baby, he talks about a puppy. He is convinced he's getting a puppy. He has come around a tiiiiiny bit, but I figure we've got a few more months to work on it. He will at least talk to the baby now. It is the sweetest thing. He gets right next to my stomach and YELLS "Hi baby! I'm Knox! You big brother! I love you!" We will see if he still feels the same way once the baby is actually here.

 

He is growing up so insanely fast. I can't believe that he will be two in December! He talks so much and is really starting to look like a little boy. I am so thankful to be able to stay home with him and really get to experience him growing up. I NEVER in a million years thought I would be a stay at home mom. I wanted to work. Now I can't imagine life any other way. I love the stage he is in right now and I'm trying to soak it up as much as I can. He is so funny and he just continues to crack me up with the off the wall things he says. The other day he told me "Auntie Jess funny. Uncle Russell peepee in the potty. Pop and Mac shopping buggy. GG BIG hug!" It was just totally out of the blue, but Uncle Russell, I'm sure glad you've learned to peepee in the potty.

All that being said, being his mom is just plain HARD some a lot of the time. I wouldn't trade my strong-willed, hard headed child for anything because it makes him who he is (which, let's face it, is me made over), but goodness gracious there are days I could just pull all of my hair out. He is SO particular. About E V E R Y T H I N G. I mean, we are talking everything. He freaks out if I come in the bathroom while he's in the bathtub because Daddy is supposed to give him a bath. Mommy, apparently, is supposed to be in the kitchen. If dinner is cooking and I come in the living room, he says "Mommy! Kitchen!" Clayton thinks it's absolutely hilarious and says that he just already knows where a woman's place is. You're hysterical, honey. His latest obsession is his cowboy boots. We got him a cowboy hat awhile back because he had been asking for one for probably a month. I figured if he remembered for that long that he wanted one, It was probably worth it. So now we've got the boots and the hat, and we wear them everywhere. Even as adorable as I try to dress him, I'd be lying if I said his cowboy obsession doesn't make me smile. 

My ten year high school reunion was a few weeks ago. Ten years. Seriously?! Absolutely nuts! We had a great time and it was so nice to spend time with people that I don't get to see often enough. 

Four weddings, two babies (with two more on the way), one cross country move, a new dog, six big girl jobs and ten years later. And that's JUST in this picture. It really is crazy how quickly time flies! We missed everyone that couldn't make it.

I guess that's probably enough of an update for today. I really am going to try to be better about blogging and not having mile long posts! I know, I say that every time. Here is an adorable picture of Knox to hold you over until next time! xo

Fears.

We all have them. We all have LOTS of them, whether we are willing to admit it or not. Mine range from worrying if the outfit I'm wearing shows the 10 pounds of baby weight I have leftover from Knox to whether or not I'm a good mom to if my husband knows JUST how much I love and appreciate him even though I'm not the best at expressing it.

While we're admitting things, I'll admit to you that One Tree Hill will forever be one of my favorite shows. Seriously. I laughed, I cried, and I was devastated with the last episode aired. It's okay to laugh at me. I could probably go back and watch each season all over again and enjoy it just as much the second time. Amidst the suspense drama of it all, there were always some really great nuggets of wisdom. Like this one from Whitey. Oh how wise he was.

 

I love this. Because in reality (yes, I know OTH is not reality)  we ARE all afraid. Why are we so ashamed of it? It is human nature to be afraid. It's in our DNA. But instead of hiding from our fears, why not face them head on? Conquer them, or at least give them all you've got. 

Yesterday our message in church was absolutely amazing. It was basically about getting back to Jesus. As Christians in America, we have somehow separated Christianity and truly living for Christ. One of my very biggest fears is that I will miss an opportunity to share Jesus with someone because I am afraid of how they will react or because I'm not sure I have the right words or because I can't quite remember what I learned in church. We talked in our Bible Study group about just being real. It doesn't matter that I don't have the right words. Who really wants to sit there and listen to me recite something that I've practiced a million times? I'm certainly not perfect. Far, far from it in fact. So why would I want people to think that's what I strive to be? I know I'm not perfect, and in Jesus, I don't have to be. He has redeemed me. Every bit of me: good, bad and ugly. 

In Jesus, I can face my fears head on knowing that His plan for my life will prevail no matter what. I may not always make the right choice, but I will always end up back on the path He has laid for me.

Sometimes.

Sometimes being a mom is just plain hard. Agreed? No one ever talks about their hard days. It takes me back to the whole "fakebook" fad a little while back. We are so quick to post how cute our kids are being or how beautiful the day is and how much we are enjoying it. I'm equally as guilty as the next person.

Here is my reality:

Last Thursday, I picked Knox up from MDO and he was happy as could be. He came home and took a nap, woke up, and we were going to go to Clayton's parents for dinner. I got him dressed and we were just about ready to go. He was in the bathroom and all of a sudden came running out scratching at his tongue. I thought he had put soap in his mouth or something, so I set him on the kitchen counter and started trying to look in his mouth. About ten seconds later he started projectile vomiting alllll over the counter. We are talking exorcist style. And it went on and on and on. He finally stopped and I was able to get him in the bathtub to clean him up. Clayton wasn't home because he was already at his parents doing some work for them. I called him freaking out because I didn't really know what to do, and honestly, I didn't know how I was going to clean up the ridiculous amount of vomit on my kitchen counter. Those that know me well know that I DON'T do vomit. I got him bathed and he seemed to be okay. Then he decided he wanted pancakes. Blueberry pancakes. So, I gave them to him. Within fifteen minutes they were all over the floor. And all over me. Back to the bathtub we went. I let him play in there while I washed the pancakes out from between my toes. Clayton came home about that time, so lucky him, he got to clean up the pancake mush on the floor. He threw up a couple more times and then asked to go to bed. That NEVER happens. I put him to bed just knowing that he would be up all night. Thankfully, he slept straight through the night. I thought maybe that meant the bug was behind us, but unfortunately that wasn't so.

The next morning his precious aunt decided that donut holes would be a good breakfast choice. So of course, we saw those again a little while later. After Friday morning though, everything seemed to be heading in the right direction. Thankfully, no more throwing up. Not so thankfully, the liquid filled diapers continued. I won't go into detail, but Clayton had to bathe Knox as soon as he woke up Sunday morning. I'll just leave that one to your imagination.

Fast forward to yesterday (Monday). My dad kept Knox yesterday morning for a couple of hours so I could get some things done. I got a text about an hour into it telling me that he had already changed two awful diapers and his shorts were in the washer. Great. I picked him up, we came home, and he pretty quickly went down for a nap. He woke up with another awful diaper. I changed him, and about five minutes later another one. Changed him again, and immediately, you guessed it ANOTHER one. I was DONE at that point. I thought my head was going to explode if I had to change one.more.diaper. Liquid filled diapers, at that. We rescheduled dinner at Clayton's parents for last night, so after all the diapers and a few fits in between, we finally headed out. Halfway there I heard (and smelled) another one. The smell was so awful that I KNEW it had to be everywhere. So we pulled into a parking lot where I proceeded to throw away the shorts he was wearing. We finally showed up for dinner with Knox and a diaper and me with quite a few new gray hairs.

So today, my house is a wreck, the sink is full of dirty dishes, I have two weeks worth of laundry to catch up on and I had to keep Knox home today. Sometimes, being a mom is just plain hard.

None of this was meant to complain. Even on the hardest days, I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything. But being a mom is usually not glamorous and my kid is pretty much never perfect even remotely well behaved. Does that mean I love him any less? Nope. If anything, most of the time I have to turn around so he doesn't see me laugh. Did I mention that the stomach bug probably came from his new found love for laying on the floor in the middle of public places? You know, super clean places like WalMart. Yeah, that's my life on a daily basis.

So yeah, being a mom to a rough and tumble, rambunctious, wild 21 month old little boy is rough. It's definitely not all rainbows and unicorns. But I love it. I mean, who could resist this?

My Reason Why.

When I first started out on this new adventure with Rodan + Fields, I was told to write my reason why. At the time, it was as simple as, "I want to help provide for my family, and I want to be able to give back." My oh my how that has evolved and changed over the last seven months.

I was not particularly interested in skincare. Okay, I wasn't at ALL interested in skincare. I was the girl who had taken her makeup off with a baby wipe right before bed for YEARS. I would occasionally wash my face with Clayton's face wash if I thought about it. But that was rare. I never had skin problems, so I never felt the need to take care of my skin. My oh my how that has ALSO changed over the last seven months!

I have become completely and totally passionate about skincare. My own, my friends, my family...and pretty much everyone I come into contact with. Skin is the first thing I notice. Don't worry-I promise I'm not silently judging you or picking your face apart. I'm just more aware. I want to shout from the rooftops how damaging the sun can be. And those tanning beds. Oh man. I cringe when I think about the damage I did in my teenage years.

What started as a way to help support my family has turned into so much more. Here is my new and improved reason why:

I will provide for my family. I will have my children's college paid for. In full. I will be completely debt free. I will help underprivileged and homeless children. I will support missionaries. I will take the financial burden off of Clayton. I will invest in my community. I will invest in things I believe in. My children will understand what it means to truly give. As a family, we will be the hands and feet of Jesus-whatever that may mean at the time.

As my passion for skincare has grown, so has my passion for what this business will do for my family. This is truly an amazing company and I am so thankful for this opportunity. As my income grows, so does my ability to fund my passions. I never want my family to be so far removed from reality that we forget what it's like to struggle. So I have made a commitment to myself: We will live a comfortable lifestyle, but we will NEVER stop helping those who need it. We don't need a lavish life to be happy. You can't take it with you when you're gone.

Okay, that's all for today folks. Like I said when I started blogging again, I just need somewhere to spill all my thoughts! :)

Feeling Thankful and Ready for Fall.

Clayton and I always talk about all of the places we want to visit. I've wanted to take him to Southern California to hangout with my uncles and visit my old stomping grounds for as long as we've been together. Like most people, finances always held us back. Well, that dream is now a reality and we are headed to sunny SoCal for Thanksgiving this year! I could not be more excited. There are so many things I want to show he and Knox and share with them from that season of my life. This is one of my favorite pictures I ever took while I was living there and every time I plan a visit, I look at this and get so giddy! This time is no exception. I love my life in Texas and wouldn't give it up for all the world's riches, but a piece of my heart will always lie on this beach and I am beyond excited to share it with my family!

When I got started with Rodan + Fields, I just assumed it would be a nice little bit of extra money each month. You know, enough for us to go out to eat a few times, maybe pay a couple of small bills. I could have never imagined what it would actually be. I never thought that within less than a year I would be booking a trip on a whim without thinking twice about it. I never imagined that I'd be a full time stay at home mom and spend so much time with Knox. I was talking to Tori today and will be able to help fund her doing some things during her time in the mission field of Madagascar that before I would have just had to pray someone else could fund. God has truly blessed this little side gig and today I am feeling extra thankful for that!

And on a completely unrelated note, I wore this super cute pair of camo flats today in honor of the slightly cooler weather. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit excited about the camo trend for next season. Come on, fall!

Life as of Late

So I made the decision to start blogging again...and then life got crazy. No big surprise there. So here's a little update on how life is going in the Pavlic household these days:

• We laid Clayton's precious grandmother to rest a couple of weeks ago. It was a sad and joyous occasion. She will be dearly missed here on Earth, but we are so happy that she is dancing with Jesus and is no longer suffering. She loved Knox more than life and I am so thankful that he got to spend the first year of his life with her. I will treasure the pictures for a lifetime and I can't wait to show them to him when he gets older and tell her all about what an amazing woman she was.

• I went to Houston last week to help my grandmother get some things done. Clayton had to go take some classes for work anyway, so we made it a family trip and took Knox down to Galveston on Saturday. I am L O V I N G having such a flexible schedule and that I can just up and go to Houston at the drop of a hat if that's what I want to do. I thank God for that little blessing pretty often. Knox is such a little fish and he loves the beach. It was rainy and cloudy when we first got down there, so we went to Murdochs and The Strand first. We ate at Rainforest Cafe and Knox had a BLAST! I was on the fence- I knew he would either love it or hate it. He loved all of the animals and we went on the Rainforest Ride and he had so much fun pointing out all the animals. It's crazy how quickly he is growing up!

• Today, Knox has decided that we are celebrating Christmas in August. He found all of his Christmas PJs and we've had at least 4 outfit changes this morning so that he can wear ALL of them. This kid...

Back to Blogging.

Wow. Knox was two and a half WEEKS old the last time I blogged! Goodness. I decided today that I feel like I have a lot to say, so it was probably time to start blogging again. :) Don't get too excited- I don't have anything life altering to say. I just need a place to spill all my random thoughts. Maybe if I can get them all out of my head before bedtime, I will be able to get to sleep before midnight! Here is a quick rundown of what has happened since my last post:

• Knox turned one in December.
• Clayton and I turned 28 this year.
• I became a Rodan + Fields consultant in January.
• Jessica and I closed the Blithe Boutique storefront in April to be a trunk show/online business

That's really about it. Our lives aren't very exciting. So now that you're all up to date, I will try to post more often! Basically, get ready for my crazy ramblings, my hot friggin mess of a life and my horror hilarious stories about raising a 19 month old monster!