A Glimpse into Poverty.

At our last Junior League meeting, our (fabulous, wonderful, amazing) president left us with some statistics and a challenge. It was really eye opening, so I wanted to share it with you.
Our mission is to serve the women and children of Angelina County. Our signature project, Back to School Bonanza, does just this.
Each year we provide at least 2,000 backpacks full of the necessary school supplies to begin the school year. Parents can bring their kids for: vision screening, head check, hearing screening, immunizations, hair cut, uniforms, and other things to help them kick their school year off right. 
Based on the data collected from Back to School Bonanza and income eligibility for our programs, the average income is calculated on a one parent household with three children. Assuming they are working 40 hours a week at minimum wage, their net income after withholding would be around $1,004.00 a month. Based on the SNAP (food stamp) program guidelines, they would qualify for about $347 a month, or 80.13 a week, in food stamps. 
So the challenge was to feed our family for a week on $80.
I thought that sounded easy enough. We usually eat dinner at my parents house on Mondays and with Clayton's parents one night a week. 
So I made my grocery list and I headed to the grocery store thinking "I've got this."
We eat pretty healthy (emphasis on pretty) in our house. I make most everything from scratch and we have cut out most processed foods, so the bulk of my groceries are bought in the produce and meat sections. 
I started off pretty well because produce is mostly inexpensive. 
Then I went for meat. That added a pretty hefty dollar amount to my basket. Do you know how much ground beef is?! I knew it was expensive, but I had never really paid attention to just how much it was because we don't eat a whole lot of it.
I got out of those sections mostly unscathed and headed for the dairy. I got my staples and then hit the aisles for the few things I needed. This is where a big realization hit.
Healthy food is expensive. My box of brown rice noodles was three times the price of good ol' enriched noodles.
I started walking the aisles and paying attention to the healthier options of things and noticing how much more expensive they are.
We tend to blame the obesity epidemic in the US on laziness and lack of education. And don't get me wrong, that is a BIG part of it. But how can families living below the poverty line justify spending an extra $3 on a box of healthier noodles?
My trips to the grocery store typically consist of me getting the things on my list and throwing anything else in the buggy that I decide I need while I'm there. We DO have a budget for groceries, but going over it by $5, $10 even $20 isn't the end of the world. For people living in poverty, it could mean not getting the electricity bill paid.
I managed to come in around $75. I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to get food for a week for that and it opened my eyes to my frivolous spending at the grocery store. BUT that did not include ANY household items. That was strictly food. And I did have to sacrifice some of our healthier options to stay under budget.
It was such a great experience and really gave me a glimpse into the lives of the people we serve. We are so willing to do so much for them, but it's hard to relate to them and I feel like this helped tremendously, and for that I am thankful! 
And just for fun, here is my $75 worth of groceries...

All the Judgy Parenting.

Can't we all just get along and live in peace and harmony? Okay, maybe that's a little extreme. But friends, for the love. Can't we at least just embrace our differences and stop all this judgy parenting?

 I feel like every time I turn around someone else has posted a judgmental parenting blog post/article/status on Facebook. Or even better, when someone posts something that they think is sweet or they can relate to, and someone posts a judgy comment on that.

We all parent differently. We are all different.

Does that make your parenting style the right one? No. No more than it makes me dragging my screaming child into the McDonald's bathroom to spank him yesterday the "right" parenting style.

Yes, I spanked him. Gasp. Maybe you don't believe in spanking. That's okay. I do. And that's okay too.

Sometimes I give my kid Oreo's for breakfast. Because you know what? I don't feel like fighting with him.

Sometimes I let him watch ten episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in one day. Because I need to get some things done.

Sometimes I let Gavin watch TV. Because some days it's the only thing that keeps him from crying.

 Sometimes we eat McDonald's and Chick-fil-A in the same day. (Maybe we did that yesterday.) Because I need to get out of the house.

Sometimes I throw random parties for him and a couple of his friends because I know it will absolutely make his day. Because I adore every inch of him and want to do things for him that he loves.

Sometimes I sit and snuggle with him and the baby on the couch instead of cleaning the house. Because I know that far too soon he will be too big to snuggle.

Maybe my house is a total disaster almost all the time. Because sometimes there are just things that are more important. And because I live with Hurricane Knox.

Sometimes he wears a bandana and a fireman hat to school. Because he just wants to.

Sometimes he shows the most amazing childlike faith and trust in God you've ever seen. Because really, we are good parents and do our best to raise our kids to be Godly people.

I don't go into the play place with him, because he has to learn to do things on his own.

I don't help him climb up the really high areas of the playground. And it's not because I'm lazy, so I don't need you to look judgingly my way while you help him either.

Maybe I'm sitting on the park bench playing on my phone while he plays and the baby sleeps. Because 85% of my conversation during the day is with a toddler. Sometimes I want to feel like an adult.

I don't make him give a toy to another child just because he/she wants it, because that is not real life. I do make him give it back if he takes it from them instead of blaming it on him being a child and not understanding.

Here is the most controversial one:

Sometimes, I let him play with my phone. But wait, I'll do you one even better. He has his own iPod (which is really just my old phone). Yep. You read that right. My two year old has his own iPod. 

He is incredibly smart. And I'm not saying that in a "my child is a genius" sort of way. It's just a fact. He is very, very smart. He has tons of education apps that he absolutely adores.

You know what he has learned from them? The alphabet. And the sound each letter makes. And within the next six months I have a sneaking suspicion he will start reading.

And numbers. And shapes. And animals.

And your mind would just be blown at how much he knows and how well spoken he is.

Don't get me wrong, he learns a LOT at Mother's Day Out. A whole lot.

But the fact of the matter is, I do not sit down and teach him these things. I am not a teacher. It is not my gift. We talk about things, but I do not teach him other than by our conversations and his observations of my life.

Maybe you sit down every day and do an alphabet lesson with your toddler. Maybe you homeschool your kids. I applaud you. Your parenting style is different than mine and I have so much respect for you.

But it doesn't make me a bad mom because I don't do those things.

Maybe you don't give your kid Oreo's for breakfast. Or at fast food. Or let them watch TV. Or let them have a phone at age two.

Maybe you do sit in the play area and climb around the playground equipment with your kids instead of playing mindlessly on your phone.

Maybe you make sure your house is clean before sitting down on the couch with your kids.

But you know what? It's okay. We are all okay.

We are all doing the very best we can to raise tiny humans to be good big humans. And we all do it differently.

My parenting style doesn't have to look like yours. You don't even have to like mine. And who's to say I like yours? But that doesn't matter. You do what works best for you and your children. And vice versa.

 Why can't we all just start respecting those differences and that we are all a mess?

And we just pray that by God's saving grace our kids will all turn out okay. And that's really the best we can do for them.