Knox's Birth Story

I was going to write Gavin's birth story first since it is the most fresh on my mind, but I find myself comparing the two so much that I feel like I need to write Knox's first. He is, after all, our first child. So here we go.
If you kept up with my pregnancy at all, you know that it was an incredibly easy, textbook pregnancy. I started going in for my weekly appointments at 35 weeks and at that point I was dilated to a 2 and 50% effaced. That didn't change between 35 weeks and the time I went to the hospital. At my 39 weeks appointment, my doctor told me that she would let me go to 40 weeks, but no further. She told me that she is a firm believer that nothing good happens after 40 weeks. That was fine with me. I was beyond ready for that baby to be OUT! (If you know how this story ends, you know I don't have small children, so I was highly uncomfortable and miserable by this point!)
My doctor was going to be out of town on the day that I was technically 40 weeks, so we went ahead and scheduled my induction for a few days later (December 20th) in hopes that I would go into labor on my own before that. No such luck, of course. 
The 20th rolled around and I decided I would work that day since I didn't have to be at the hospital until that evening. I worked until lunch time and went home, took a shower and got everything ready to go. Clayton came home from work a little early, and we packed our bags and headed to the hospital  at 6pm. When we got there, Labor and Delivery was CRAZY busy. We ended up having to sit in the waiting room for a little bit while they got a room ready. We got all of my paperwork filled out and finally got into a room.  I got into my lovely hospital gown and crawled into bed to wait for my doctor to get there and tell me our plan of action.
She got there and told me that we would start Cervidil that night and hope that it would help get my cervix a little further along by morning. After a few excruciating tries by the nurse getting the Cervidil in (sandpaper anyone?), they gave me an Ambien and told me to try to get some sleep. I slept like.a.rock. 
They woke me up about 7am on the 21st to take the Cervidil out and see if it had done any good. Before taking it out, the nurse said "everything is going to be a little more tender, just wanted you to know." Thanks for the warning. "A little" was probably the understatement of the century. I'm willing to admit that I'm a total wimp when it comes to pain and I have a very low pain tolerance...but holy moly, she wasn't joking. 
My doctor came by that morning to just check everything out and they started my Pitocin around 8am. I remember telling my mom not too long after they started it that I was feeling a little crampy. By mid-morning I was having full on contractions and they were less than enjoyable. I had always heard that contractions we worse when you were induced. I had nothing to compare them to, but they were awful in my book. The hospital "recommends" not getting an epidural until you are dilated to a 5. I wasn't even close. 
I finally asked for some IV pain meds, so I got those sometime that morning. She told me it would take a few minutes for them to kick in. I just remember feeling super tired all of a sudden, and I'm pretty sure I just passed out after that.
I only remember bits and pieces from the rest of the day. I know the nurse came in to check me at one point and my water broke while she was checking me. I remember them coming in and turning me in all sorts of crazy positions trying to get things going. I remember eating ice chips galore because I was STARVING and my mouth was so incredibly dry. Clayton said that I would basically wake up, have a contraction and immediately fall back asleep. All I remember is being in immense amounts of pain. And those people who say you forget the pain? They lied. I still remember it. Two and a half years later. My friend, Shealee, was due with a little girl about a month after Knox. She had planned to have a natural birth with no drugs. She and her mom stopped by to visit sometime in the midst of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad part of the day. They had repositioned my bed (kind of like an altar- they must have known the only cure for my pain that was coming anytime soon was going to have to come from Jesus) and made me sit on my knees and rest my arms on the top part of the bed (you getting the altar image?). I remember thinking "screw this" and curled up in a ball on the bottom part of the bed. Well, that's apparently the time they decided to come visit. I don't even remember them being there, but Shealee still to this day cracks up because apparently I woke up when they came in, looked right at her and said "Don't do it without the drugs." and passed back out. I stand by that statement to this day.
Finally, sometime after lunch, after lots of begging and pleading and probably crying, it was time for my epidural. I have never been happier to see a man with a giant needle to stick in my back. The nurse gave me a pillow to hold onto and told me to "be totally still." I don't know if you've ever tried to be still through really intense contractions, but I was fearful for my everyone else's life. I remember that I finally just bear hugged the nurse and buried my head in her shoulder in a effort to be still. Looking back, I'm sure she really loved that. They got my epidural in quickly and it started working within minutes. Oh, sweet relief. 
Because the Stadol just knocked me out and the epidural relieved the pain, I pretty much just slept the rest of the afternoon. They did have to put me on oxygen because Knox's heart rate kept dropping, but other than that it was a pretty uneventful afternoon.
Sometime after 3, I woke up and told Clayton and my mom (through my sweet oxygen mask) that I felt like I had to poop (sorry for the graphic details). My mom and I had this conversation:   Mom: umm that probably means it's time for you to push!  Me: no, I just need to go to the bathroom. Tell the nurse to come in here. I have to figure out how to get to the restroom. Mom:Just use your call button.  Me: Really? With this oxygen mask on?
So, she so helpfully pushes the call button and announces to the entire Labor and Delivery floor, "Ummm she feels like she needs to poop!" Thanks mom.
The nurse came in and my mom was right. It was time to push! They called the doctor and got everything ready to go. I was still so out of it and really didn't know what was going on, but I remember having that moment of panic about pushing a watermelon out of a lemon. Everything happened so quickly that I didn't have much time to worry about it. The doctor got there and it was time to push a little before 4. I started pushing and one of the nurses said "Oh good, you can tell when you need to push and you're doing a good job. We won't have to turn your epidural off." I'm sorry, turn my epidural off? No. Just no. I'll just say, it's a good thing they didn't try. Knox's heart rate kept dropping, so my doctor was really pushing me to get him out quickly.
My mom and Clayton were amazing through the whole thing. I pushed for right at 30 minutes, and then I'm pretty sure I started to just pass out again. At 4:20pm our precious boy made his debut covered in hair. I remember Clayton saying "Do you hear that? Do you hear him crying?" I'm pretty sure I tried to smile and say yes, but I honestly don't remember hearing him.
Clayton told me later that he got really nervous right after he was born because he didn't cry immediately. They had to take him over to clean out his lungs before he made any noise. I honestly don't remember any of that!
They got him cleaned up and brought him to me and I can still to this day remember the feeling when they laid him on my chest. It was the most amazing feeling in the world and I finally understood how you could love someone that you just met with your whole heart. He was perfect. And in that moment with Clayton and our precious new baby, my life was complete. 
They told me to spend about 30 minutes trying to breastfeed before we started letting people come in to meet him. He took to nursing without a problem, so everyone got to come in pretty quickly. My memories are still somewhat foggy even at this point. That Stadol is no joke.
After about another hour they came to take him to the nursery to weigh and measure him and give him a bath. One of the very coolest things is that a family friend who has worked in the nursery for as long as I can remember was the nurse who took care of him. That is so special to me. They came back and told me that he was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and 20 inches long. Like I said, I don't have small children.
Because Labor and Delivery had been so busy, postpartum was also very busy. We ended up having to stay in the L&D room for quite awhile, so I went ahead and showered and got dressed in there. I had a friend ask me before she had her baby to be totally honest with her about the whole experience. She wanted to know the things that no one tells you. The one thing I told her and that I would tell ANYONE is that the bathroom will look like a murder scene when you get done in there. No joke. No one told me. So you're welcome.
We stayed our one night in the hospital and got to go home around 5:30pm on the 22nd. Our world was turned upside down. After a few days I didn't remember life before Knox. It seemed as if he had been with us forever. My pregnancy with him was far from planned, but looking back I wouldn't have it any other way. He is my pride and my joy and he is the boy who gave me my most treasured title of mom.